The Little bundle from above

God sent me a little bundle…

He said it was a special gift….

crafted with a lot of attention and time

He said it was unique piece….

There wouldn’t be a duplicate…

But when looked at carefully,

It will have all things special about me and my mate..

But he said….

Now I leave that precious gift with you…

To nurture, to love and cherish…..

I carried this unopened gift in my belly

The longest 9 months of my life…

We couldn’t wait to open the gift….

And it teased us…

With little kicks and bumps…

The lil gift made me glow and feel beautiful…

It banished my pains and troubles….

It brought my family closer..

And made our lives beautiful…

And then the gift unfolded

Ten days earlier than expected..

Surprising and exciting us at the same time

The pain was excruciating….

But I knew it was the same for the lil one…

And we both cried as she showed herself to us……

She was beautiful

Just like I expected,

Just like I dreamt of

Just perfect as promised by the one above

Her dad beamed with pride as he held her close to his heart

Her grandparents couldn’t control their joy

And I yearned for my baby as I lay in bed

I was no more the teeny weeny girl…

I now got my biggest promotion ever- Motherhood….

OLD IS GOLD...

Why do we love songs from our teenage and youthful days? Even if the world has better songs and bands, and whole lot of known and unknown options today???

I know now….

Its not just the lyrics, the melody or the movie nor the concert that you had been to, that makes them special. Its not even the number of times you listened to those songs, at a time when we had the liberty of being pretty jobless..Its not that we are too busy juggling with life's responsibilities, that makes the songs of today probably less appealing than the songs of ten to fifteen years back.

It’s the whole lot of memories attached to each of those songs that make it special for us, even today. I know it sounds stupid. But it is..am sure it’s the same for most of us…

Yesterday, on my way back from work, the radio was ablast with songs like mein pareshaan…..pareshaannn and rowdy rathore and many more, which at any day would boost my tired spirits. And then out of nowhere, the title track of Kal ho na ho played..and there….Time just stopped still….i was reliving some olden days. In fact to think about the song, all I did while watching the movie was cry bucketful of tears, but yes, those were the days of college, getting into crowded buses, waiting for long queues without complaints.., blast the music on weekends, dance in our hostel corridors…

Listening to those songs during a sleepless night on a bus from Bangalore to Calicut, meeting friends at coffee day, while our favorite music played in the background….the music that played in our friends car, the songs that were dedicated to our first crush……the 'numb' song that was perfect when i was at my feistiest....for me the list just goes on and on.

And when I listen to the infamous 'Hotel California'…it takes me back to a pink background with the picture of a satan and the title ‘Hell freezes over’, much to the utter dislike of my mother…That was my first rock album…gifted on my birthday by a friend who was dismayed at me drooling over the boybands of those times…

Although the satan did have an effect on me, as I moved from pop genre to Aerosmiths and Metallica’ and the Floyds….the boyzone, savage garden and the backstreet boys still don’t fail to bring back a smile even today…and I’m surprised I still remember the words as I sing along with the track…. And I still carry all those cds and gifts with me, wherever I go, from kerala to Bangalore, to Chennai and to dubai…

I don’t listen to them, except for the occasional reminder of them from radio stations that I plug in to. But I’m happy I have them with me….I took pains to get hold of every single album in those times…and to even think of the number of times I would arranged and rearranged folders and wrote them into CD’s, to walk all the way to my grandparents place to watch MTV most wanted and Channel V’s Billboard toppers….

Now all you need is a click, and every song from any part of the world falls right into your palm, into your ipad or iphone in milli seconds. Am sure The Jonas brothers and the GAGAs and Minaj's, Kanye's and Labrinths are good, but I don’t think I would have any memory that would get attached with the song….they would just remain as good songs and videos.....

Ooh la la..Krispy Kreme

It was one of those days, when I didn’t have to cook, and could enjoy an instant meal at the food court below my office. Mind you, this was the wrong food court to be. The food price could almost touch the gold rates, although this term is a lil stretched, but then I decided to explore a bit….

I was looking for something nutritious and a filling lunch…and as my eyes scanned the entire food section of so called ‘low carb’, low fat’, ‘non-greasy’ and boring menu, I stumble into this small cute box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts near the billing section…..

The placement of that box, in marketing terms was the USP. Everyone who comes in to the pay section would not miss the warm, gooey, cute little donuts. Oh, and how I fell for them shamelessly! Guess my chemical sensing system was at its highest peak that day, or working overtime! I just could not resist the signals that my nerve cells around my nose and mouth were sending to the brain. How do I explain those delicate, deep fried, sugar glazed, warm circles of flour, butter and sweetness??? The petite Philipino sales girl smiled devilishly, as she knew that I required no coaxing here. There were 3 of them, and I bought them all….

Now I could go back to my work cabin, and devour these sugary treats in less than a minute….but then I wanted to just remember every single biteand decided to opt for the benches beside a beautiful view of some of the best architectural creations. The weather was at its best with a pleasant wind, and a warm sunny light. And I opened the box, and snared at the Florian coffee shop sales guy who was at his break, with a cigar….I was not ready to take in some smoke along with this savory goodness….He either got the signal, or he was due to be back at his table….he moved away.

I was alone, with the wind flowing and spoiling my hairdo (or whatever was left of it), and I took every single bite, not missing any ounce of flavor, the softness, the fresh smell of butter and flour, and shamelessly picking up the glazed bits that fell from the bites onto my lap ( I can be messy at times)….but then, It was nothing short of a food paradise…Being reminded that this was just a portion of the food paradise, I got up, walking back, promising to try more….:-)))

2011+1

Another year passes by…A very troubled year ! the year of ailments and mental tensions….2011 taught me a lot of things  that the yester years could not…

Simple things…like, Health is wealth……. difficult realisations that beauty in the eyes of the beholder is mostly skin deep ( I completely disagree with the proverb) and a renewed realisation that whatever happens ….your family stays with you….

The year also taught me to accept things as they come (although it was not easy), the year was the biggest in terms of my patience being tested, and I guess I succeeded in coming out sane.

I have finally started to feel comfortable in UAE, its gonna be my home for at least a few years now, and I have learnt to like the mix of cultures and languages, the traditions, its just another way of seeing life, or rather experiencing.

Now I look forward to 2012….A very exciting year according to the Mayan calendar…when the 13th b’a’ktun gets completed…the year the world awaits to witness a major change….And I hope for some major achievements, as I yearn to learn new things, be it cooking, general knowledge or career. I want to enjoy simple things, and be of help to others. I want to get back to reading, a habit that I lost in the last year. As my wishlist just climbs the ladder, I also pray and hope that the world finds peace, and people around me are able to appreciate life better.

Enough of my verbal nonsense…Back to the four letter L.I.F.E, which does not fail to surprise me, always!!

The man who knows me

A song that explains a lot about me, and therefore very dear to me....
I used to have it as my brief, although long description on my Orkut page, in those years where social networking was given birth in the form of Orkut and blogs (Facebook did come later, although it washed away the rest along with it , like a Tsunami).

Anyways ,I need to post it here, for old times sake!!

My life, is extraordinarily bare ( don't assume anything from this line)
I fought the fear and chased the pain.
My life, doesn't need to be explained,
I chose to walk the line as one.

Sometimes, I live upon my island, Cut off from emotion and its pain.
That's when, I am tempted by the waters,
Waters that can take me far away.
So I'll just keep on walking down this open road,
Hoping someone, somewhere needs me.
So I'll just keep on walking down this open road,
Talking to the man who knows me,
Yes he knows me, the man is me.

My life, was once full of people's faces,
Brought to me by love, which isn't strange.
My life, had the goodness of blue waters,
A day's a day for all I used to say.

Sometimes, I can sit and cry my heart out,
Drowning in my autocratic ways.
That's when, I am tempted by the waters,
Waters that can take me far away.

My life, is now full of people's faces,
Within the light of change I pulled away.
My life, shows that no man is an island,
I've exchanged the piece of life I cut away.
Now you won't see me walking down that open road,
I've found someone now who needs me.
No, you won't see me walking down that open road,
I've found at last the man who knows me.
Yes, he knows me and the man was me, the man was me.

Perfectionst

I guess we need not be perfect,
or have things in our own perfect way

We can afford to make a few mistakes
cos we learn from them....

Failure lets us know how special success and happiness are....

The Yellow Umbrella

My first umbrella- a promotion from the sticky, plastic smelly raincoat to the world of colorful umbrellas…..

I didn’t require the umpteen sessions of Marketing Management to appreciate the commanding influence of advertising then - The POPY ad Mazha Mazha kuda kuda…. just drove us sisters nuts to a point where we were not ready to hit school without one.

And one fine day, my parents come back after work, and on the holder of the ancient Rajdoot bike were 2 beautiful yellow colored umbrellas….and much to our delight- the brand POPY….

No words of joy would come, just some clicking noises from the semi toothless oral cavity of mine. I grabbed the umbrella to see the specs and features. It had the traditional U-shaped handle (in plastic yellow too), but had an automatic open system with a push button. The fabric had small flowers on them, and the steel was shiny…Brand new. Then came the routine ‘female’ check of whose is better. As usual, the green monster struck the right chord and I felt that my sisters umbrella, which was exactly the same shape and color, fabric and size, but for the print, looked better. But then the feeling passed. And we waited impatiently for the night to end in order to to inaugurate the beautiful thing the next day.

The first day was a dreamy affair of carrying this new and beautiful accessory with pride, and show it to the whole world. The second day passed with the same enthusiasm. And the third day. Alas!! No signs of clouds….While others around me were happy that the rains did not spoil the sheen of their brand new uniforms and shoes, mothers happy about a day or two of sunshine to dry clothes, and the roads to drain down the muddy water, the two of us waiting for a heavy downpour.

And on the fourth day, when we had given up all hopes of a drop of rain, as we were just getting off the school bus and walking the short distance home, the rain gods came down in all their fury, drenching anything and everything. Before we were allowed the glory of inaugurating our new push-open umbrella, we were drenched to the skin, not to mention our bag, books and lunch kit, with a puddle of water in our shoes….but who cared. We could only hear the music that fell above our head, and deliberately walked home slowly……………..

That’s the story of my Yellow umbrella!!

Seething!!

It may not be one of the best,
It may not interest you…
Some of it may look silly

But this blog is my baby..my creation…
Yes, it s all out of impulse.
And the RAM is me, the ruling Aries!!

Wonder why people are jobless enough to spoil someone else’s life
I have no interest in anyone else’s life….
Happy if things are fine with the rest of the world, else it’s their problem to solve
As for mine, This is my life…
Let me live it… in peace …with my family!!

My friends are those who have understood me and love me for what I am
For the ones who couldn’t, STAY AWAY!!
You don’t deserve a milli second of my time ever!!!

New Friends and Enemies!!

My new friend- Anti histamines
My enemies- weather and (‘god knows which’) food!

My constant Companion- Rashes, fashionably called as 'histamines'

Another rainy day in Dubai

I got out of the metro that was packed like a group of hens taken for slaughter, all grumpy!. The womens compartment has always been like that- impenetrable. Had difficulty in takin out my tail (the duppatta) away from the mob. I was finally out, ready for my regular walk back home, the walk that makes me think!! silly things-…the trip home….family planning….the new recipes to be tried….my dream home…Issues in Egypt….rapes…shopping cravings…and pollution…

But this time the rain interrupted….People around me complained abt the ‘pour’, but little did they know that it was just a drizzle….I still could walk home in the rain, but didn’t wanna take a chance after my recent skin attack called pityriasis rosea…

I waited by the side of the huge Burjuman mall that was inviting me with its DSF offers… the usually clean roads and pavements were getting a little muddy after the recent sandstorm that spread sand everywhere including my nostrils and on my buttery balmed lips..chey!!

Nobody carried an umbrella, as rains are not something that you can cherish or look for in Dubai…nor do they have any season…they just come in miniscule portions, and go away by the time you blink twice….and then I saw the Yellow Umbrella!!

(to continue...)

Crazy thoughts of an Average looking girl

Lucky are the ones who have straight hair…
They don’t have to get it straightened,
No damages nor expensive treatments, nor hair fall

Lucky are the ones who are fair….
They are called beautiful almost everywhere
Even the ones with the worst of ‘features’

Lucky are the ones who are not ‘FAT’
They can wear anything
From fully clothed to ‘almost there’ outfits

Lucky are the ones who have not been ridiculed
For being what they are….
They don’t have to go through the pain…

Am sure they would be ‘schizophrenics’ who think otherwise, or ‘children of god’ who would brand me a ‘sinner’ and scream at me for such thoughts….
But…No point…it can’t be changed….its the truth which each one of us wish to forget

Oldest of thoughts die hard……

Resolutions

Every year….there was a resolution
A resolution that didn’t see success beyond 3 or 4 days, max a week
Even if it was the smallest of resolutions, like getting up at 6??

This year’s different
My resolution’s to have no resolution at all!!!

FRIENDS III

When I made friends,
It wasn’t for fun,
Nor was it for a period of time…
Nor was it based on gender and caste,
Nor expecting something in return……….

It was…..for a lifetime……………

The end that brings happiness- Christmas

No matter what happens throughout the year, Christmas is a time when we oblige to forget all our worries and sorrows, and get set to celebrate.

You don’t need to be a follower of Christ to enjoy Christmas. Yes, to me it rings music in the forms of carols, joy to the eyes with the decorations, cribs and twinkling stars everywhere, taste buds tickled with a whole palate of mom’s Xmas goodies and icing cakes, tears of happiness and remorse at the birth of Jesus with a prayer of thankfulness and a hope for forgiveness, moments of happiness with family and friends as they get together…….

It doesn’t stop here. Holidays after a stressful week or two of studies and exams, the best time to meet your dear and near ones by travelling half of the world, a time to receive Christmas gifts, and cakes, some of these customs, being followed every year, time to booze and party, time for shopping and what not….and a whole load of stuff to make us smile away to glory

I have tears now, tears of happiness, as I remember that some of my best memories with family and friends have been during the last ten days of of all these years. Be it College, Graduation or work, I have made myself free every year, just to enjoy the spirit of Christmas and to be with my greatest asset- Family….and friends

As I look at my beautifully decorated tree here, far, far away from my near and dear ones this year, I pray and hope that they have a wonderful Christmas and a great year ahead, a year of health and happiness for my parents and sisters, a year of prosperity and peace for my friends, and mostly a year of success and surprised to the both of us!!

Chikku and Me!

Watched Marley and me for the second time yesterday, and all I could think of was my Shepherd Chikku……

A word of thanks for the love and companionship
- for the patience to listen to my ‘chatter batter’
- for the laughs and the clutter
- for just being there during some of my most depressing times in my life!!

You were a wonderful companion, although neurotic and unruly!!
Miss you!!!

Go Back in time!

I really wish I had an option to go back...
In my Control panel to change settings
To be bold , and say what was right,and justify it
To fight for what was mine...troubleshoot
To redo things that I had done wrong...
And repent for things that i cant undo...

I wish i could save the most sweet moments in the prime side of my brain...
and leave the bitter ones to the Recycle bin...
and shift delete the most unpleasant ones forever...
Wish that I was formatted well, to make my life look picture perfect
paint it with colors and cliparts of happy days
Wish the forlorn days could be minimised and the euporic days maximised
Filter only the genuine crowd around me,
and no viruses around playin with my emotions

I wish I could just slot in 'New' and start all over again!!

And…Connect And….Network….!!

The world took a huge twist with Social Networking…Although there were lot of social networks before, Orkut being my first, along with others like Hi5 and a lot more that my ‘grey matter’ just cannot commit to, but then Facebook took the trophy for social Networking

I was just getting used to Orkut and the gadgets along with it, and then came Facebook. I decided to stick with my first one (in management terms called as ‘resistance to change’), but then Facebook just started to breed and became this next big thing…Not having an FB profile was considered out of the crowd, Not part of the digital age….

And then I entered the new world of so called ‘FB’. I was already late. Millions of messages were passing around thru the ‘Walls’, photos and events….i did a marathon in order to connect with all my friends and acquaintance spaces…caught me breath and then updated ‘here was I’…..’me tooo’!

I am sure phone bills would have had a nasty downfall, with all Telecom companies cursing the new baby-Facebook. We found our lost friends, found our abode where we could write what we wanted, express our fears, joys and sorrows, take a public poll on our recent hairstyle and DSLR Cameras, update our status with even a mere monologue. We had all the happening news at a flash- someone getting married here, someone’s baby shower, somebody’s office grumbling, and someone else’s elephant trip in Kenya

Suddenly, everything was known to everyone. Even an acquaintance in School was your friend, wishing you on your birthday, your enemies or your competitor were screaming loud that they just hit a promotion and that you were nothing!!

Every ‘click on FB’ just made Zuckerberg a zillionaire even after sorting out all his legal bills. One of the reasons why Zuckerberg created Facebook was to take revenge on his ex- girlfriend, to prove to her that he was not just another geek in Harvard (No offense to you Zuckerberg, I am just referencing the movie ‘Social network’).

My explanation to use Facebook was to be part of the new age, and not be pulled back into the ‘old gen’ types. But all that it has done is to increase my medical bills (extensive use of laptop- head ache, eye issues, irregular body balance), immense stress due to the constant updates that I see around which makes me wonder if I was living my life to the fullest…and less productivity. I fact there’s a recent poll that says FB is used more during the weekdays than the weekends…that explains the productivity

Now, just because I don’t bullet down the advantages doesn’t mean that’s FB is ‘EVIL’. I still have an ID, active throughout the day, with 600 plus friends, pics and status updates, but on a comparative scale with lesser updates (this is already givin me a headache). I still would keep the id…in fact habits rarely go away…..until somethings replaces it in this digital race!

Unlucky are those who don’t have it…but lucky are those who don’t feel the need for it!!

the RAM!

The RAM is quite unique
She's special, different, weird, misunderstod, innocent yet headstrong

Only another RAM can even partly understand another RAM!!
Its not easy to be one, but its still great to be one..

Someday...she'll be understood...accepted....wanted..
but guess it will be too late to change things!

Back again..

Guess the change in a lot of things around have created a lazy halo around me…and the fact that the last few words or thoughts haven’t created the desired effect in my readers made me feel low….but guess what? I don’t really care!!

After all, this is my blog…my area…I can write anything here….I am not writing to win a competition…am not giving any political ratings or an intellectual publication.. It’s all about ME!! Me with the horns (just meant the golden ram- Aries), with all human feelings and emotions (‘sentimental’ being the most predominant), mistakes and impossible dreams and all crazy thoughts…

The last few months were days that I probably may not ever get in my entire lifetime…something that I have always wanted to….. RELAX ….Do Nothing!! Do whatever I like….Yes..3 months of absolute nothingness…

The entire lifetime of studies, work and a whole lot of other active pursuits, without a break ever, has been one hell of a crazy ride... ok ok I agree…its something that all of us go through…however, a very small percentage of the populations do get to take this so called ‘break’…just to relax…no worries

But this is how I relaxed…..slept slept slept…….no brain activity….then came the experiments with cooking…Thank god I moved in with my husband sans my in-laws and parents….My hubby had to eat it all, the burnt, sometimes uncooked, missing ingredients, strange tasting dishes of mine…then practice made it almost perfect….and then came the Internet smiling at me thru my jet black VAIO- and along with it the new found love for social networking….regular updates on FB….farming on Farmville…..until my back and VAIO screamed HALT….Oh No..Worries never left me!!

The arien clock kept ticking.. Ariens, among their other troubles can never be interested in anything for a long time…so then came the boredom….The thing that I had longed for now became a huge pain in the wrong place….Constant nagging made my hubby regret his decision of bringing me to Dubai…..and finally the painful realization of the market and the economy….I had no job!! And none had a vacancy to even offer one…

I missed the crowded streets of T Nagar….gossipping, shopping and enjoying with friends, Fabindia, the beautiful beaches of Calicut…Amma’s Appam and Stew and a whole lot of other things…and the long desert stretch with its ultra modern buildings and paradise shopping failed to help me out….except for my poor tolerant hubby who was my only friend, guide and philosopher..he he!!

Now am back to my old days…and how I wish for some more days of nothingness….Now I think of zillions of things that I could have done during my free days…

All I can think of is a Malayalam proverb- Ikkarey nilkkumbol akkarey pacccha!!

Our performance

Oh, but this life’s a stage
An arena where we need to play our characters
Knowingly, unknowingly, selfishly, selflessly
Some tragic, some adventurous, some romantic and peaceful
Some quite strenuous, some flexible and effortless
Some adding value to another character

We perform our roles as artists- amateur or experienced,
As hero, heroine, villain or a small supporting role.
but even that calls for changes,
The best part of it and the worst part of it
We don’t get to play the same part forever….
However magnificent or inferior it is

The world of performance drives change….
And we are forced to believe in that change
Else what would make us go forward?

But what about the original behind the mask?
Does that change colors?
Or does it stay behind the infinite walls of the mind?

At the end of the stage play, we are judged by our performance
Excellent, bad, wonderful, or trash!
What would I be rated at last?

FRIENDS II

‘I’ll be there for you’ of Rembrandts used to be the exact feeling that I had about friendship
In fact most of the people around us would agree

Parents said ‘keep a distance’- just to ensure that we don’t get hurt
But we reprimanded them for saying that
We were basking in the intimacy with our gang of friends
The best days spent together
The worst days of fighting over things
And the glory of getting back together again

School, Tutions, Hostel, College, Workplace, Neighbours, College bus, train, bus stop and where not
We had friends all the way…. girls, boys and kids, uncles and aunties………

Some of them were with you, through thick and thin
Some surprise friendships stayed; and we thought it won’t last
Some faded away with time,
And some still kept in touch, in spite of distance
Some left us- no explanations, pain or regret,

Will I tell my kids the same things?
Will I let them be ‘I’ll be there for you’ to their friends?

Well, I still have few for whom I still sing ‘I’ll be there for you’
Life has not been that hard….but….you never know……….

Hibernation

The period of hibernation is over,
With renewed energy, the blogger embarks on another journey…..

The hibernation was to concentrate on new things,
New things that the body and mind had to get adjusted
Adjustment to varied things that the ram was aware of
Yet kept aside until the thirteenth hour

The fire in the ram is too powerful for the others
Not that it burns or hurts anyone who draws closer
But the ones who cannot take it move away
The horns of the ram are just for caution,
But the ends are blunt

The impulsiveram is not a perfect writer
These words are just an expression of the ram's worst fears and profound joys
Just like the name, it comes on impulse,
Just on impulse

The Betrothal

I looked at that little piece of jewellery,
The round shape that hung on to my ring finger
It was beautiful yet hard,
unique yet strong


The hand that was devoid of any form of adornment before
now had one of the most beautiful stones that earth could produce.

I was definitely awed by its beauty and preciousness,
But when I first saw and felt it,
It wasn’t the value of the stone that I wished for,
But a prayer to have all its attributes in my life forward
The voyage, with my soulmate

Yes, I want it to be beautiful
Hard to break the bond,
a unique relationship that surpasses time

I looked at the little piece of jewellery,
The round shape that hung on to my ring finger,
The hand now held by my mate,
Promising to be with me throughout the journey called life

FLOW OF WORDS II

Never did I expect the words to bring peace of mind to a soul,
Never did I know that I could be sketched with those words,
And never did I imagine that these words would finally bring me what I wanted
But yes, this is no more a dream, it’s my REALITY!!

Some formation of words, my creations had to go to the fires,
I was wrong, and the realization made me remove my false ideas into the deep flames,
But i cherished my other formations, which will not even carry a spot of dust!!
The ones in the fire will never be remembered,
And the ones I hold will never be forgotten.

Never did I realize that I could do what I m doing now
Never did I wish to be like that
And never did I foresee that these words could lighten my burden
But yes, this is no more a dream, it’s my REALITY!!

SURE… UNSURE…

The CREEPY shadows are moving away….
It looks like the sun has decided to come out of hibernation……………….
I see things frozen around me all set to melt and bloom

Maybe it’s the in thing in me……or
Maybe it’s the experience
I still don’t want to react to any of these
I’m unsure it’ll stay…. and later look like a fiction of my imagination

Maybe it’s the planets around me
Jupiter moving eastwards, Mars moving towards me
Or my close companion‘Saturn’ moving away

Good or bad, things have changed, within a blink
And there’s hardly any time to pause and take a deep breath
Need to survive with short breaths

Not too sure of the route I’m taking.
But I turn back to study the surroundings.
What if I have to come back the same way, when I realize I was wrong?

The search for the OASIS

When I was let out into the desert,
I was not all alone,
There were many like me, out for the first time,
Yet more confident than me.

Many of them, I knew, and many waited to be introduced,
We took the trail together….. the journey of life……
I was glad they were there through the rough times,
And enjoyin each other’s company when the winds were low,

We were there for each other, and the bond grew………….
However, time ran, and these friends ran with it

When they were able to predict the desert’s temper, they split
Some went with new comers, their loved ones
Some went away…. Silly fights
Some were there, yet they had to move on too……

All of us had to find the OASIS………………..
I could see it.. all green and fleshy and blue waters amidst the dryness
I ran towards my destination, crawled, moved inch by inch
However, every time I thought I had crossed the forever distance
It leaped to new distances, and it beckoned from far.

Am now all alone, and my feet are bare and bruised
My baked body has lost all its moisture, void of nutrition and love,
Am not sure if my friends have reached their destination
I know I still have not…. I have to……

The pain in my legs is excruciating, yet I pray to the almighty and move forward
Am alone, I need to survive, so I move inch by inch
Better late than never.
I cross the desert, now all alone, to find my OASIS.

One day I will…………………and I hope I meet all of them there….

Stranger in cyberspace

I was new to that part of the world
A world of words and formation of sentences of ones own likeness
It didnt have to be grammatically correct, nor did it have rules and specifications
You could just write everything, and there was lot of help technically for freshers like me, to make it look presentable

I took to writing, or infact a coloqial word as blogging, at a vulnerale point
a saturation point of 'just taking things the way it happens'
The Arien in me woke up, no wonder this space was named afer the zodiac
It had to vent out, and i vomitted it to this space

The space wouldnt have been appreciated by the so called 'positive thinkers' of the world
so didnt expect anything less than an advice, insult or criticism
Maybe it was etched in my mind so, and when the paradox happened, it was all too strange

A stranger entered into the private space... the space which still faintly smelt of the new coat of paint that i had given it
praised the work, the hardly 100 words in a jumble thrown into lumps and heaps,
something which i thought only i would comprehend

But, some one among the trillions of the so called bloggers, could empathise....comprehend...patiently read..
Who was he? Did he know me? Was he flirting????
or was it just a mistake when in search of something else?? (You know the way girls think, it just goes on...)

I wanted to ponder, possibly the way he understood the RAM
was not sure of the road i was taking... i had just started...
and before i could even blink, and straighten my back, everything had vanished.....

i stopped there......and let the stranger go....
After all, he was a stranger, wanted to be stranger, and went on to be that!!
I was alone in this space.... and i better be........
The words will keep pouring... and strangers will remain strangers.......

Please...........................this is not a love failure......................
Its just that i dont like strangers.........not any more.............

SLEEP

I want to sleep, a dreamless slumber
Not the kind that’s been bothering me for a very long time.
And keeping me awake for most of the nights

Sleeping seemed to be a punishment.
Punished with weird dreams, of fear and sorrows
Yet I couldn’t remember the torture that I went through when I woke up

I consider the ones who sleep well to be the most blessed ones.
They forget everything for a few hours,
And give in to the luxury of relaxed muscles and vaccum and beautiful dreams

Cursed are the ones like me, who can not even give in to that luxury....................................

O Sleep.... i miss thee!

Love Letters – A review

My view about Chennai has just been altered, after realizing the taste that the city holds for theatre. Been for a few plays in the last few months, which was a breath of fresh air after a period of ‘not knowing what to do during weekends’, and then came the big Metroplus Fest. So it was with great enthusiasm and expectation that I went for ‘Love Letters’. And yes, I can still hear those words; feel the same tears in my eyes, and the experience of being loved and being in love.

The beauty of the whole script just swept me away (as I’m sure it did for the others). Another few feathers to the hat- the cast by Rajat Kapoor and Shernaz Patel, the simplest of simplest themes and backgrounds, humour, with just the perfect voice modulations and simple changes in attire that denoted the passage of time.






Directed by Rahul da Cunha, the story is about Andrew Lad and Melissa Gardner, childhood friends, and their story through life by way of letters, a bondage which could not be terminated by time or distance. They shared their innocent thoughts and ideas and way of life through these love letters. Both were extreme opposites, Andy being a father’s boy, and Melissa portraying the spoilt daughter of divorced parents. Their love grew with the letters, but none of them admitted it either. The passage of time drove them to different worlds, but the letters kept flowing, the love planting its roots deep into emotion….

Andy becomes a lawyer (not to miss a series of flings and affairs in between), to be a man of ‘righteousness and rectitude’, gets married and settled, and continues his dedication to his family and country, whereas Melissa becomes famous with her works of art, traveling across the world, and changing men along the way. The love letters continued, as ‘seasons greetings’, ‘Merry Christmas’, ‘Congratulations’, and ‘are you there?’ messages. Melissa goes through divorces and rehabilitations, and Andy finally becomes the Senator.







In due course, Melissa realizes that Andy is her only love, and tried to express it to Andy in many ways. Andy continued to ignore it by concentrating on his family and work, although Melissa was of utmost importance to him.

Melissa turned into an alcoholic, and lost interest in life, and became depressed day by day.. However, Andy’s letters kept her alive. A meeting after a long time gets them into a one night stand, where both of them confess their love for each other. But Andy continued his dedication to his family and senatorship, and tried to not get deep into it. Melissa, by then has turned into a complete wreck, and moves into her own shell. Andy continued his letters, as he was worried about her. But nobody could bring back Melissa, as she gave herself to the ultimate- Death

The final act could just turn any unemotional person to tears. Andy pours out his heart before the grave of Melissa, writing a letter to her mother, confessing his undying love to her daughter from the time he received the first letter, which was an invitation to a birthday party.

The crowd just applauded to the combination of excellence, beauty and poise. A standing ovation was the perfect gift for the wonderful couple, who were extremely pleased as well with the response from the audience.

My final note about the play- ‘Love Letters’, for sure must have touched a corner of each ones heart, bringing back a lot of memories hidden/ thrown among score of other memories. Some brought tears about lost love, love and distance, some brought laughter, of old childhood friends and crushes, and people who have never met, but still got close with letters and mails. Lot of questions was answered, and a lot of answers brought new questions. I definitely left the ‘Lady Andal School campus’ with both.

DETACHMENT

The rejection hurt…
The no appreciation hurt…..
The back stab was shocking….
The response ‘PRIVACY’ really really hurt….
So I tried to detach myself from anything that may end up in these situations
Ah, but the potholes. How can I fill them??