Save Me!!!!

I’m getting bored of penning the records of ‘troubled waters’
I’ve been craving to write about a whole lot of things
But the mind refuses to move there………………….
It’s stuck here, in the gloomy spot.

Its there, all of them
The Ideas, colors, happy days, friends, family and forever crushes
I sit down to write about them
And record them forever in the cyber space
But the grey matter refuses to budge out of its hibernation then

But at the spur of a single tear, the grey mass is just active. How how???
It can devour the entire cyber space with melancholy expressions and words

What is it that can remove those deep rooted thoughts???
I try hard to remove them myself, but its stuck there……
Just like the tentacles of an octopus……………………
Once caught… you just cant escape the tight grip……..

SAVE ME!!!

An account of a harthal day in Kerala

It’s my first trip home after my relocation……and after a very long time- a month (he he). A little later than this, and I would lose the oomph to carry me forward, so it’s a revamp program- this trip of mine to the native.

Unfortunately or fortunately, the day of arrival is a harthal/ bandh. I’m not sure if there would be stone showers or other crazy things as soon as I touch the soil. I crossed my fingers, and got out of the Third ac compartment, a luxury that I had to choose because of no tickets available in my usual sleeper class. Hmmmm, surprisingly, the ever crowded station is almost empty xcept for the chai/ bonda vendors running around frantically for sales, and a few passengers like me who have reached unaware of the surprise bandh…

I walk past them, as I am sure that my dad would be waiting near the ticket reservation counter, so that we don’t miss each other among the hoard of civilians. My dad is waiting at the exact place where he’s supposed to be… there’s no irritation marked on his forehead, as the train kept his time, and I didn’t have to keep him waiting…. But oh…. He has not got his car!!! Stone showers, remember!?! He has got my sister’s favorite Dio. It’s a dangerous vehicle. I have had my share of falls from it, and it does gonna be my first experiment with my dad in that medium of transport. To top it all, I have a huge duffel bag of clothes and CDs and some junk. I look at the bag, quite alien now, because of the additional burden to the Dio.

My dad’s too tall for the vehicle. As it is, he has to take some effort to adjust his legs to it, so we had to settle with the bag on my lap. So here’s the situation, two tall guys, on a small Dio with a duffel bag as a barrier between us. My position behind was an almost 45 degrees, as the bag decided to take more place. Anyways, the journey started!!!

Oh no, there’s a little shake, yes, my dad’s trying to balance the additional weight!! I pass S. M. Street, one of the busiest streets, but hey, there’s no one outside, no shops opened, only a few beggars who are still hopeful of getting something. As the roads are empty, Dad tries the speedometer. I remember those scooter ads where the girl remover her pony tail hair to let the wind blow it. But in my case, it was all blown to my face………..uggghh!!! The roads were almost empty, and it looked quite peaceful, it was heaven when compared to me relocated city…..Its been raining like crazy since the last three months, so the air had the misty tang about it, and the flora and fauna looked fresh and rain kissed, not an iota of dust accumulation on them makin the leaves so brown that you never believe leaves are green I color……the side lanes still had the chocolaty color waters….! But everything looked so beautiful!!!

As I turned to the lane towards my house, I see my mom anxiously waiting to see her daughter………As I hug her tightly, I realize that there is no moment better than this….its like all your anxieties are washed away for a second…….and its jus the contentment that my parents are gonna be there even if the whole world denies me!!

As I open out my bag to reveal the goodies that I have bought for them, I can smell the aromas of chicken curry and the appam that’s getting prepared for me. As none of the shops are gonna open for our regular outing (mom and me are shopping addicts, he he), we chit chat, and cook and tease each other for the rest of the day, the day that is a harthal!!

Mistakes

Mistakes…
all of us make them…………..
Confessing or pledging not to repeat it………….

Alas… we never keep our words..
we still go back to our confessions and promises

Mistakes………big mistakes…..
some of them change us completely….........
Opening our then naked eyes to things that were always there,
yet chosen to avoid or discard,
and now made to realize the danger of giving in to the mistake once again….

But I…………………
Never learnt it the first time
Think i'm gonna repeat them …………………

Farewell Bangalore

It’s been 4 plus years in Bangalore and the city has become a home away from home. The 2 years of struggle in college and another 2 years struggle in corporate, all mixed with the sweet and bitter memories that friends and foes have given. I could say its been an action packed package altogether!!! A metamorphosis from the cocoon unaware of the world around it to the well developed butterfly, all ready to face the world’s beauty and its ugliness!!

So what happens when you move out of the place you love??? I really couldn’t reveal my feelings on the last day in Bangalore. Practically a wide eyed emotionless freak could be the only term that I can think of!! On one hand, I was devastated of the change, couldn’t jus remove the ‘fevicol’ bond with the place and my friends, and on the other hand, I knew I had to move out, for more struggles and achievements. The last week was spent with friends, going back with time, smiling over the wonderful times we’ve had, browsing thru some of the captured moments (Kodak moments), and teasing one another over their follies.

My friends, the freakos, and dakoos, have been there throughout, thru ‘bad nose’ times and masti times. Someday I would write a book about them…..all of them. None of us were alike, in looks or character. All have been experts in their own specializations. No wonder there’s the proverb that ‘opposites attract’. But yeah, we were a point of discussion or envy to the masses. Guess not many could maintain the same relationship even after 2 years out of college. We were together, be it movies, luncheon, concerts, shopping or hospital sessions, never seen alone……..

I realized this was coming, from the time that I was looking for a job change, but I still forced my mind to just concentrate on the number of days left and make them as memorable as possible.
As I leave, I have a huge baggage of memories to carry with me for the rest of my life. Bangalore…….will miss you!!!

Forgive and forget

The numbers of blogs are increasing in number, as I am jobless right now, and I use these idle hours/ moments to pen down my thoughts, that jus come and go. And when you are jobless, the mind wanders; and mine wanders thru the days of joys and sorrows, and instead of concentrating more on the blissful days rather than the duller ones, I wander to those depressing days in my life- and is that the thirst for anger and revenge that I see in me???

No, there’s nothing wrong with me!! I’m just human, not an angel or a saint. I have emotions. Emotions that have been clinging to my soul like barbed wire for so many years, and tearing away my skin. The anger and the thirst for revenge were things that were suppressed deep, deep inside, something which I swore not to release, as I knew its consequences. The impact might even bring me down with the rest.

But it’s been a burden, just like the ring in ‘The Lord of the rings’. You are happy that you have it safely hidden inside you, yet you carry the burden. But now, how do you unleash it??? Prayers, strike back or something else??

I tried to develop a course to eliminate the anger and the pain- the volcanic emotions erupted in small portions at the wrong time and directed at the wrong person!! Can I jus take the revenge and finish everything?? No. The ones who have hurt me have moved on, some have forgotten them as old shhool day gimmicks; some would have regretted about it later. How would I know?? When they hurt me, I jus retreated back and wrapped myself into a cocoon, and to avoid contact with the world, yet moaning about it from time to time. Neither did I pray for them, nor did I react, silly fool that’s me. The world looked different, clouded, wicked and heartless.

I fought back, a fight that lasted years- yes, it took a while to move the dark clouds aside to see the world as it is, with the mix of good and bad; and it worked. Yippee, it worked. I was normal and ready to take the world once again!! The later years of teenage were years of learning and unlearning. With the experience that I had, I learnt to be cautious and alert, yet be myself- some traits that were definitely me!! But the hurt remained still. And as the years have passed, I've taken the memories along with me!!

There’s only one thing that can help me now. Let bygones be bygones. I only keep the lessons that I learnt during my stint with the dark clouds. I can just try this, yet as mentioned above, its not simple. But no pain……… No gains. So here am I, all set to take the pain to gain a happy life!!! Wish me luck, LIFE!!!!

My first trip via air

Hoi!! Finally I have fulfilled the dream of traveling by air. All Thanks to the ‘god’s gift to the middle class people’- Low cost airlines! The trip from Bangalore to Chennai in ‘Spicejet’, though a short trip, helped me take in all the pleasures of the ride. From the check-in, the boarding pass and the security checks, all which were only observed in movies and television till date, all seemed cool. To the public around me, this was nothing, but daily routine. But to me, it was quite thrilling!!!

The not-so clean restrooms nor the litter here and there could not dampen my enthusiasm. Even watching TV from the waiting counter seemed nice (he he). As I was waiting, I used the time to observe the crowd and realized that unlike our railway stations, the situation was quite calmer. Atleast no worries about finding a place to sit, or booking the window seat etc.

As we were directed towards the flight on a Spicejet van, I took in the beauty of the runway and the other aircrafts takin off and landing. My friend was quite amused by the bubbling excitement. By the time I got inside the aircraft, and welcomed by the airhostess, I was in Cloud #9 already. I found my seats, which was the third row from the entry. Realised that there was hardly enough place for my long legs (blame it on the height or the low cost airlines). My friend told me that the other airlines had better leg space and seater capacity, and of course a bigger rate.

The take off was zimbly amazing. My co-passenger was a scary freako who tried to divert my attention, as the plane took off. Though butterflies were running around my stomach, I was not ready to look anywhere else other then the window, which would show me the pristine white clouds flowing around. At times, I felt I was in heaven (thanks to all these images depicted by television and movies), and wanted to just walk around the clouds and aim at the stars beyond (fantasy spook). We were offered water and sweets by a rather sweet looking air hostess, who then proceeded to give safety instructions. In between, we were requested to tighten our seat belts because of the turbulent weather outside; at first I couldn’t see anything except white n white everywhere. Gradually, things began to look clear, and I could see the cars and the buildings on earth which looked like a toddler’s toy box.

Within half an hour,(unfortunately, as my dil maaangeddddd more) we reached Chennai. I felt elated to walk past the numerous relatives and taxi drivers awaiting the passengers. The moment I crossed the airport doors, I felt the heat pouncing on me. But before I could swear about the weather, we were welcomed by the rain gods, which made way to the parched soils of Chennai. But the moment was short lived as my friend told me that Chennai would turn all muddy with the rain, and it took Ravin 1.5 hours to reach the airport to pick us up. Phew!!!

My ‘TIME’

(a small change made to the quite acclaimed song of Pink Floyd to describe my current status)

Weekdays:
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
I fritter and waste the office hours in an off hand way
Kicking around on a piece of training material in the office
Waiting for someone or something to show me the way

Weekends:
Tired of lying in the bed and watching TV all the time
I am young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day i realise ten years have got behind me
No one told me when to run, and I missed the starting gun

Dreams:
And I run and I run to catch up with the old days, but its sinking
And racing around to come up behind me again
The memories are the same in a relative way, but I’m older
Shorter of breath and one moment closer to the end of the dream

Life:
Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to halt or half a page of scribbled blogs
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the only way
The time is gone, my song is over, thought Id something more to say

The best part of all:
Home, home again
I like to be at home when I can
And when I come home, after the long travel
Its good to relax my bones beside my mom’s arms
Far away across the streets
The tolling of the church bell
Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spells.

The Boys from Boston

June 2nd broke a lot of records.
- The longest wait outside the entrance area – 2 hours
- The highest price ever paid by me for a concert ticket!!! My parents would require medical attention if they ever heard abt the price I paid for the ticket. The earlier generation can never understand the reason behind it (wink!)
- Screams of acknowledgment and joy that irritated the fellow creatures around me,
- The new challenge that I posed to the previously acclaimed bawlers. The decibel rate, if checked would have definitely broken all my previous records

The Aerosmith show was a rocker show!!! 1.5 months after the show, and the lasting effect created……. Phew!!!! Mind blowing!!!

No wonder they are called rock gods!! The energy, the passion, and the style was remarkable!!! 59 year old Tyler wasn’t an exception; he was just like any of us, in fact better than us, screaming into the mike, yet the screams produced music to our ears. He proved to the entire world that ‘chemical romances’ and the ‘crows’ and ‘monkeys’ come and go, but he was here to stay. The legend, who inspired the likes of ‘Bon jovi’ and ‘Guns and roses’, just picked up the crowd with an ease that only a professional could do!!!

8:00 p.m- Adorned in semi-Indian garments (a ganji and a lot of batik and animal print stoles around the neck), Tyler created a hypnotic spell by starting out with the ‘Taste of India’, the song that announced their love for India (not jus because of ‘land of elephants’ or mehndis, but for various other things). I was still in the queue outside, and swearing at the men and women for creating the commotion then, and wondering why couldn’t we have a proper queue system. But the moment the music started, it was a stampede, lead by none other than me (he he), plunging into the smelly, sweaty crowd to ensure a proper view of the favorite stars. Roshin, who had come along with me, had a tough time to match up.

It was a dream come true. They were so close….. hardly 15 feet away from me, and singing away the tunes that I loved the most.

‘Dream on’ was sung with the same feeling and passion as it was in the seventies. The other numbers followed- Livin on the edge, pink, falling in love, cryin, sweet emotion, dude looks like a lady, don’t wanna miss a thing, love in an elevator, Jaded, eat the rich (when he flashed a “lick me’ painted on his tummy) and some songs from their tribute to the blues. Joe Perry, the sexiest of the band, and my favorite, created frenzy when he started out with his solos ‘messin around’, and the synthesizer which had an electrifying effect on the audience!!!

More than three decades in the music world, its the combination spell of the toxic twins (Perry and Tyler), the scintillating gigs and the energy factor that makes them outstanding from the others.

The crowd just rocked and swayed, topped with the music of a lifetime, and obviously, because of an awful load of ‘smoke’ and ‘water’!!! But all were oblivious of the smells, the sweaty backs or the amazingly hot women around. Yes, the band captured all the attention!!!

It was with great disappointment that I left the Palace Grounds 15 minutes before the show ended, as I was not allowed to wait until the last of the show when the crowd goes bezerk, and missed the rather romantic number of the band ‘Don’t wanna miss a thing’. But as I left the palatial grounds in an auto rickshaw that burnt the holes in my pocket, it was only a deep sense of contentment that filled my mind!!

NEW

A change in shades, a new look and feel
Yes, that’s my blog we’re talking about
Something to brighten the dampened spirits
That gets reflected on my e-diary too

And hey, it already looks better

Opinions might differ,
But now, I care less,
All that fills me is a sense of peace
And of mixing and matching my favorites

FRIENDS

Friends………………………………
Who bring meaning to your life,
Who bring out the best and the worst in you (he he!!!!)
Who are around at the most important of times

Yet……………………………….......
When they hurt us, we forget to realize the meaning of life,
Creates a superlative’s superlative of ‘loss’
And you are no more the same

Bizarrrry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can’t explain what’s running thru my mind now!!! Gosh!!! I rarely experience such bizarre conditions.

I want to write, yet the words refuse to flow as it used to when I started blogging, a point when I was wedded to strong words!!

It isn’t a melancholy state, but a strange mood that veils me away from the world around me and disturbs my normal state of mind. What hath brought me to the stage of ……. Stage of what?? Its not loneliness, its not happiness, its definitely not boredom, nor my forever confused state. Yet, I know that I’m not myself!!!

I feel like bungey jumping, even when I know that I would have to order a coffin to take me to heavens!! I feel like running away from the homo-sapiens race, yet I realize that I can’t survive without my nears and dears. I feel like crying, yet the tears do not flow, as it used to (Amma used to taunt me abt a bottle of tears behind my eyes which is fully controlled by me, that at the spur of a slight pain or uneasiness, the bottle opens up in full throttle), and here I stand, with not one drop of tear!!!

So…..what happens to the ram???? As I retreat back to the monotony that is called work, I pray for a change, a miracle, smiles, adventure, and for an aura around me that keeps me away from all ‘nazars’.he he!!!

Cochin- and its best

Cochin has always surprised me with its exotic locations and styles and the salty air. Thought the heat is excruciating, I never let myself be within the air conditioned rooms of my uncle’s abode. I demand my friends to take me out, and show me the places that I have visited hundreds of times, yet every time I go there once more, there’s something new and refreshing about them. But the most amazing experience has been in Kashi Art Cafe. In the heart of Fort Kochi, this small space has created a relaxed atmosphere to thousands of tourists and people like me.

My first trip to Kashi was in September 2005, when Vinod decided to celebrate Mona’s birthday at Kashi. Never having heard of that place all of us just sat back in the car and enjoyed the salty breeze, the lanes that were used by the Dutch, the cemeteries and the churches. A turn towards Burgher Street brought us to this small café, a very old house which has been renovated with a modern taste.

The first two halls of this 260 year old Dutch row house (that’s what the website has mentioned) are dedicated to exhibiting art in a deserving professional manner. Once through with the gallery, you enter an airy tropical garden café. There was only one word to describe it- beautiful. The space was simple, letting nature create the restful ambiance. Wooden benches that still carried the smell of forest, cane curtains, an old tea maker and urns and vessels completed the space.

Known for its mouth watering chocolate cake, we ordered one for the pretty femme, Monica. I don’t have to mention that we devoured the whole cake in jus seconds after first slice of yummy cake went into Mona’s mouth. The Lemon ice tea was so refreshing and I wondered why the Pizza hut iced teas couldn’t have that effect.

2 years later, when I visit this place, I realize that I have changed a lot. But the place remains the same, devoid of change, as beautiful as ever. This time there were a bunch of us ex-Ximeans, to attack the cheese omelet and chocolate cake. And they couldn’t take their eyes off from some of the blondes and brunettes that were regular visitors to this area during their vacation. A pretty pose, and all of us were ready to get back to finish our marathon called LIFE!!!

Some moments in Life are forever!!!!
For all those who are interested, here is the address:

KASHI Art café
Burgher Street,
Fort Cochin 682001
Kerala

Flow of words

Off late, I’ve realized that I write my heart out when I m at my worst!!!!

But, I guess, I don’t wanna write so well, I can be away from pain and numbness, at least for a while!!!

Lang Syne

Flippin through my old photographs,
And a rewind of my memory,
Brings back a whole lot of mixed expressions
It’s yesterday once more

Some are worth remembering,
Bringing one of my best smiles, running up till my ears
Some which can never be ripped apart,
But which will always dampen the cheek

I look back once again
All my memories
Coming back clearly to me,
like a toddler to its mother.

I recall the pain, the frowns, and mockery
the confusion and threats
And I let the same old tears burn my cheeks once again
as they melt the years away

The laughter that brought a smile to the forlorn,
The words that brought confidence in my friends,
The achievements that brought pride to my parents,
And the learning that got me here

All this brings a silent prayer of gratitude
After all...............
tis' this yesterday
that hath' moulded me into the woman that I am

Valentine’s Day 2007

Legend has it that the holiday ‘Lupercalia’ became ‘Valentine's Day’ after a priest named Valentine. Valentine was a priest in Rome at the time Christianity was a new religion. The Emperor at that time, Claudius II, ordered the Roman soldiers NOT to marry or become engaged. Claudius believed that as married men, his soldiers would want to stay home with their families rather than fight his wars (That’s funny, though true, and apt). Valentine defied the Emperor's decree and secretly married the young couples. He was eventually arrested, imprisoned, and put to death

Valentine was beheaded on February 14th, the eve of the Roman holiday Lupercalia. After his death, Valentine was named a saint. As Rome became more Christian centric, the priests moved the spring holiday from the 15th of February to the 14th - Valentine's Day.

And the world honors the day for the lovers.

I could never, nor can ever understand the Valentine’s Day. But throughout the years, I have been a keen observer of the kinda stuff that ensue around me, and believe me; it’s far from the word called ‘romance’. In fact, amusing would be the perfect word.

Some of the features that I could note were:

- Highest revenue day for florists and Archies Gallery.
- Big bang at dance pubs, garment centres and beauty salons
- Big budget, sloppy, love stories in cinemas
- Huge weight losses for guys, as their pockets reach the minimum balance
- Guys and girls in their best mood and attire
- Red, red, and red everywhere- Wonder what people get by wearing red. I still remember the leaflets that adorned our canteen notice boards the day before Valentine’s, about different colors signifying your love status- Red for committed (temporary commitment), Blue for ‘available’, Yellow for friendship, Orange for flirtatious, and what not.

Initially, as a kiddo, I used to be upset at the amount of gifts that my friends used to get on Valentines Day. The cards, the gifts, the bouquets, the phone calls, the teddy bears, oooph!! I used to dream about the day when I would be flooded with gifts and cards and the numerous calls filled with words of love and commitment. I used to admire my friends who told me that they could not think of another man in their lives, and adored them for the commitment at such a young age. Years later, I realize that after many more unsuccessful affairs, the same friend has married a different person, and living happily in some corner of the world. What happened to the love that they thought was the ‘true love’?? The commitment?? Who got hurt?? Was it just a time pass??

Now when I go backs to those days, I’m happy that things didn’t work as I had wanted. I didn’t want to go through all that hurt, and the sloppy emotions of a teenager. But I’m happy for all that’s happened around me, its changed me, educated me, about the world, the beauty of love, and the hurt and pride that it brings along. Who said that we have to make all the mistakes and then learn from it?? I learnt about, love, respect and hate from the mistakes of others as well.

I do respect the day…, St. Valentine…., and all who celebrate it with the same passion as St. Valentine, especially the cuter ones who manage to push back all their work and rush home to be with their sweethearts. Three cheers for true lovers!!!

This year, as I was in office the whole day, I couldn’t observe much. Was restless as usual, as I was just wondering what would happen outside my IT world. The morning papers were filled with love quizzes, love calculators and tips for making Valentines Day special. But even the busy world of ITPL had red colors running around, and a small function by Anousha (Channel V Pop stars). Had to leave earl from office, as we had managed to get free tickets for Music and lyrics. The movie and dinner afterwards with my friends were the only ‘attractions’ for the day. Not to mention, the bouquets and the blushes and smooches around me in FORUM!!!

Where will be for the next Valentine’s??
Will I be with my Valentine??
Or will i be still looking at the other valentinos around me??

Am I desperate for one??
Nay… but I long for someone who would take some time for me
And jus be mine,
As I become the only priority,
And the others take a second place

Roses will still be red; dinner would still be incomplete without champagne,
But all I that I would look for is TIME and SPACE,
And the deep longing and understanding in his eyes.

Where are you??
Will you find me? Or will I find you??
Have we met?? Or are we waiting for the special day??
Wherever you are, each Valentine’s is celebrated with this same hope
That some day, I will find you.
And smile at the world like never before

(Kindly excuse the poetical incompetence, as this was written in about ten minutes)

Reminiscence- Trip to Talakadu and Shivanasamudra

I used to have the following quote in my orkut initially-
“When I find myself fading, I close my eyes and realize my friends are my energy”

A perfect example to testify the quote- our trip to Talakadu and Shivanasamudram!

The date of the Alumni day! A reunion for the Batch 9 of XIME, and a chance to meet my NRK (Non-resident Karnataka) friends who never had a gang name!

The trip, the day before the Alumni meet, to me, was a special one- a reunion (probably the last one, as all are planning to get settled, either with a family ;-), or with a better job), a day away from work tensions, soreness and boredom. My ex-roomies and batch mates were busy fixing the picnic spot, using our own corporate mail ids to communicate with each other- we started with Nandi Hills, Banyan tree, wonderla, Mysore and what not. Finally when no one could not make up their mind on what to do, namma bengalooru huduga, the Airtel Shreenath just barged in with these names- Talakadu and Shivanasamudram. Probably nobody had ever heard of these names, so all moaned a steady ‘YES’ to the place.

The Tempo traveler which could seat 13 of us was immediately booked. Singaram Palaniappan backed out the last minute, due to an upset stomach, and so in the end, the number was down to 16.

Shreenath- the Airtel Romeo
Navin- the finance geek
Monica- the mini gujju HR babe
Sheetal- the Agony aunt
Shiny- the shining Siebel Guru
Roshin- the global fisherman
Anoop- the sleeping beast
Vicky- the LG Phailwaan
Varma- the silent killer
Vinod- the ‘not so clever’crow
Rinju- the ever-drunk economist
Thomas- the ‘kalla’ black saint
Rajesh- the mammootty
Ramesh- the timid ‘macha’
Nanditha- the sleeping beauty
And
Myself- the author refuses to comment about herself!!!

Now a little info abt the place!!!

Situated in a rocky terrain with traces of vegetation, Talakadu is 160 Kms from Bangalore / 85 Kms from Mysore. The place is famous for its temples and a myth about an entire village that has been buried under the sand. It is a unique, unique in the sense that in the middle of no where, one sees sand. Sand, sand and lots of sand! Almost the kind of sand one sees in beaches.

Legend says it's because of some woman's curse long time ago. A tale filled with greed and lust for power. It was the time when Talakadu and Srirangapatna were under the Vijayanagar empire. The death of the last ruler, Srirangaraya, provoked the Wodeyars of Mysore to declare war. As Srirangapatna fell, the Wodeyar ruler sent his soldiers to get the jewels of Srirangaraya’s widow, Alamelamma. As she fled from her pursuers, she is said to have jumped into the Cauvery, uttering curses. My guide gets all dramatic as he proclaims the curse: "May Talakadu be always covered with sand and may the kings of Mysore always remain without heirs." Strangely, Talakadu has been under a sea of sand for a long time and the family tree of Mysore rulers show a large number of adopted heirs.Wow!!!got to know a lil' about the tale from Navin when I had a chat with him in the vehicle. That made me a lil too excited about seeing talakadu.

The road trip was horrible. Our driver was not sure of the place. Thanks for my kannadiga friends, they asked the civilians for the right path to our destination, The only distraction in between the dusty journey was our late breakfast from ‘Kamat Yatri Nivas’. Boy!! What a breakfast! I m usually not very fond of Dosas and stuff, but the Neer dosa that I had at ‘Kamat’ was simblyyy amaaaazing!!! Not to mention the colorful chutneys, vadas, pongal and the dry fruit laddu and the besan laddu. We spent quite a fortune at Kamat.

Back to the roads!!! There were more potholes than tarred road. But we finally managed to reach talakadu by around 1 pm. It was true!! Out of nowhere, the place was covered with beach sand, as though it was jus imported and spread at this place. It was very crowded inspite of the heat. Lot of kids playin in the water, some taking a boat ride in the middle of the day (phew, they looked like baked bread when they finished the boat ride), and many roadside vendors trying to make a profit. All of us were quite tired after the bumpy ride. Our backs had taken a lot of beating, so we just lay down on the sand for solace. Shreenath, Navin and Varma were still interested to leaf through. So they went in search of a recently excavated remains of a temple, while we updated ourselves about each others whereabouts and pranks.

It felt good to just be with them. I realized how much I missed college life, especially the ‘Central lawns’ of XIME. The guys even enjoyed the tid bits of gossip that was flowing around, the break ups and marriages!! They never missed the opportunity to ogle at the women around, though they could hardly find the ones of their choice!! Post some photo sessions and a mini boat ride in the boat, which to me looked like a huge bowl (I had to pay just ten rupees for the cute boat ride, thought he might ask for more as soon as the hefty Thoma got inside), we were ready to bid adieu to the ‘cursed’, yet beautiful ‘Talakadu’, and rush to our next destination- Shivanasamudra!!!

CONFUSION

What can i name this phase that I’m passing through?
Look at me, all bewildered and muddled up!
My future is masked by a fear which I can’t define,
Sunshine is far away; clouds still linger on,
Will it pass? Will I get back the sunshine?

Everything I possessed - the ‘oomph’ and the smiles,
are quite distant to me now.
I feel like my mind is giving up on me slowly.
Is this craziness???

The world is a lonely place – I’m on my own
I should fight it out, Oh where can I go and what can I do?
I have so much to shout and cry, yet do not know where to start.
I want to let them out, and free myself from the pain and anger
Yet, another side of me is aware of a pleasure in the sting,
Of self-realization, awareness and conquering the fears
Is something crazily wrong with me? I Wonder!!

When will this hole in my heart be mended?
I 'm not sure how long this will last,
Though certain that i will laugh about this phase some day
And warn my kids of such a possibility

I’ve read somewhere, ‘God only writes best sellers, so be proud of what you are’
My character is important, as I’m the star of the book
I can’t let tragedy play the entire part.
My readers should have a great time.

Lead me kindly light, lead me....
Here I come……

RACISM and INDIA

I’m still pondering over what has happened in the ‘Big Brother’ reality show. The alleged racist slurs by Jade Goody to Shilpa Shetty have made the show very popular. And our very dear Ms. Shilpa Shetty, had expressed her shock and surprise at the state of the modern world, and called it shameful. Though I support Shilpa’s comment, I would also like to remind that she’s part of a reality show, which will have all sorts of insult and insinuation, either to judge the participants, or used by the fellow competitors to inflame the fellow contestants, and cause a roar in the show, to make it popular.

The entire nation made the incident a very big issue and I would like to quote our very own Mr. Chidambaram at this juncture ‘I am confident that the universal condemnation of the racist remarks will result in changes in behavior of persons associated with the programme,”. Little did he realize that the same quote is applicable for all of us, fellow Indians?

Most of India is still ravaged by racism in its various forms (casteism among them). It would be relevant enough to ask the Indian masses what they go through each day. Personally, I have also gone through the same things when I was being labeled as a ‘mallu’ (I hate that drab word used for calling a keralite/malayalee), and being distanced out in various occasions. So I always used to cancel me out for any job interviews where the posting was North India, as I had already faced several remarks on the hairstyle and hindi accent. The same with the hindi speaking fellow Indians in South India. They are always distanced out in a discussion, as the south crowd prefers to communicate in their local languages. At times, people tease the culture of Sikhs, for the beard as well as the turban. The next are the poor souls of the North East India, who have been given the nickname ‘chinkies’, who are also discriminated in a crowd.

Could this be the reason for groupism in colleges and workplaces, where all the ‘mallus’ become one group, and the ‘northies’ in the second group, and the ones who detest the groupism, belong nowhere!!

Not sure if the above mentioned are too small an incident to be brought under the big banner of ‘racism’, but I believe that there are four fingers pointing back at us when we raise our pointing finger at the world.

So on this auspicious day, when the republic India is moving to a ‘Poised India’, I jus wanna request my fellow Indians to hold on to the unique factors called ‘multiculturalism’ and ‘multilinguism’, respect the differences in our fellow brothers and sisters, and spread the word of love, peace and harmony to the rest of the world to become ‘Incredible india’

YESTERDAY

yesterday...........................................
all my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, i believe in yesterday.

Suddenly, i'm not half the man i used to be,
There's a shadow hanging over me.
Oh, yesterday came suddenly....

How appropriate for my current situation, wonder how Beatles could anticipate it earlier????