CONFUSION

What can i name this phase that I’m passing through?
Look at me, all bewildered and muddled up!
My future is masked by a fear which I can’t define,
Sunshine is far away; clouds still linger on,
Will it pass? Will I get back the sunshine?

Everything I possessed - the ‘oomph’ and the smiles,
are quite distant to me now.
I feel like my mind is giving up on me slowly.
Is this craziness???

The world is a lonely place – I’m on my own
I should fight it out, Oh where can I go and what can I do?
I have so much to shout and cry, yet do not know where to start.
I want to let them out, and free myself from the pain and anger
Yet, another side of me is aware of a pleasure in the sting,
Of self-realization, awareness and conquering the fears
Is something crazily wrong with me? I Wonder!!

When will this hole in my heart be mended?
I 'm not sure how long this will last,
Though certain that i will laugh about this phase some day
And warn my kids of such a possibility

I’ve read somewhere, ‘God only writes best sellers, so be proud of what you are’
My character is important, as I’m the star of the book
I can’t let tragedy play the entire part.
My readers should have a great time.

Lead me kindly light, lead me....
Here I come……